You Don’t Need To Get Naked To Become Empowered

Sometimes, I (Brooklyn) refuse to write something out of the fear of it becoming controversial.

I have this underlying hope that I’ll be liked by everyone, and that everyone will agree with what I have to say. But I know that’s false because, no matter how true my words are, there will always be opposition.

And I can’t do anything about that.

But what I can do is share the truth with you.

So here I am, girls. I want to share one valuable (and controversial) truth with you.

You don’t have to get naked to become empowered.

No, I’m not an old hag trying to get you to wear turtlenecks and ankle-length skirts.

I’m a seventeen year old trying to tell you that your bodies are valuable. They are absolutely amazing. Hand-crafted.

The fact that you girls have bodies like you do is a very powerful thing itself. Your lovely figure is admired. You can create and nourish human life. Your body goes through so much, and God created you so uniquely.

But undressing decreases that value. It objectifies you, and trains others to see you as nothing but eye-candy. It automatically lowers the amount of respect that people feel the need to give you. It invites eyes to feast on your body and give you negative attention.

The results of undressing yourself for others to see never increases empowerment, no matter how much culture paints the picture that it does. While it might make you feel free and valued, in the end you’re only decreasing the beauty, mystery, and value of your body.

Staying dressed is what brings value and empowerment. It demands the respect of others because, when we respect ourselves, we automatically encourage it from those around us. It places value on your body because it’s not something that everyone sees. When we uncover ourselves for everyone to see, the value is significantly decreased because, well… everyone has seen it. Modesty reveals that you have dignity for yourself.

And that, my friend, is empowerment.

I don’t want you to believe that you have to do what everyone else is doing to become worthy of respect. 1 Corinthians 6:20 says, “for you were bought with a price, so glorify God with your body.”

Ladies, Christ bought you. You belong to the King. Treat your body like you’re someone worthy of respect, because you are.

Don’t buy the lie that you need to get naked to become empowered. It’s so far from true.

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3 thoughts on “You Don’t Need To Get Naked To Become Empowered

  1. Kyle says:

    Hey Brooklyn; it’s Kyle. I don’t believe we’ve talked a lot but I wanted to intiate some discussion because I felt that your post was very helpful and thought provoking. I agree with your basic point; namely that you don’t need to get naked to become empowered. I do sometimes wonder about the effects that are caused by a more conservative approach to modesty. I guess my approach to the topic is that everyone should be comfortable with and secure in their bodies. Now, that obviously isn’t the case, but I sometimes wonder if strict modesty standards (which I’m not accusing you of advocating) lead to a negative view of someone’s own body and a “body shaming” culture then is introduced. “Because your body is such a source of temptation if you show skin then you’re a slut craving attention seems to be the message pushed by a lot of conservative people. Your stance seems to be much less judgemental, and I comment you on that. I disagree with that message I mentioned. I think people should be comfortable in their own skin and that showing some skin can be a helpful way of feeling confident. I understand that oftentimes, confidence is left on the sidelines in lieu of seeking attention, but I still think that there should be nothing wrong with showing some skin. If someone wants to lust after you, that’s their fault and not yours.
    I guess I would be interested in hearing your thoughts on that position. Specifically, could you explain a little more what your position behind the statement, “undressing decreases that value?”
    Thanks for the post, Brooklyn.

    Like

    • brooklynwrites15 says:

      Hi, Kyle!
      First of all, I want to thank you for being so polite in getting your point across. I appreciate that.
      I’d like to say that I am not an advocate of strict modesty standards. I know you didnt accuse me of such, but I thought I’d state it anyways.
      I disagree with how some people treat modesty. See, modesty is a heart issue, not a clothing issue. You cannot force a girl to be modest. The girl has to choose what she wants to put on her body. But at the end of the day, what you wear *does* reflect your heart and your intentions.
      A lot of girls who genuinely choose to dress modestly do so because they know the value of their bodies. They recognize that their bodies were bought by the King, and that they aren’t pieces of meat. They desire to point those around them to Christ. They put that value on themselves because they dont just think about *now*, but they think about eternity. They want to glorify God and point people to the gospel with how they dress.
      When you undress yourself for the public, it’s for the feeling of liberation, and it’s your main source of confidence. But oh, it’s such a fleeting confidence. Sure, you may gain the affirmation and approval of people now, but what happens when you’re 80 and your body is all saggy? Suddenly, undressing yourself isnt an outlet for confidence and affirmation.
      I’ve seen so many girls fall into depression because they just cant seem to get what they want. Exposing yourself to the general public seems great at first, but it just leaves you wanting more. You keep buying and buying to try and keep eyes on you. It’s literally bondage. There is nothing free about undressing yourself for the public.
      When it comes to the statement “if someone lusts after you, it’s their fault, not yours”, here’s my stance:
      I agree. I agree that you cannot physically make someone lust after you. I know plenty of godly men that can walk down the street and not lust after a girl who is wearing a low cut shirt and is walking right past them. However, us girls have to recognize that we *do* have the power to draw a man’s eyes to our body by how we dress. We have to have respect for them and see that every single guy is created and loved by the Lord, and we have to treat them as such. That means not dressing in a way that could tempt them.
      Now, I think that every guy can be tempted in different ways. The guys on Revive have admitted to being tempted by many different things that I didnt even realize. So there’s the possibility that a guy can still lust after a girl even if she dresses properly. That’s not her fault. That’s between him and the Lord.
      Anyways. I had to figure this all out by trial and error. I cant say that I’ve ever undressed myself for the public, but I have shown more skin than necessary in order to get the attention of guys. It felt good at first. But then i kept becoming unsatisfied because these guys would quickly move on to the next girl who showed more skin. My confidence level would fluctuate drastically.
      At the end of the day, our confidence and value comes from Christ. He tells us to honor God with our bodies, so we should. Showing skin is the result of a “give me attention now” mindset. But covering yourself is a result of respect for yourself and it shows that your mindset is eternal.

      Does that answer your questions?

      Like

  2. Kyle says:

    Brooklyn,
    So what about the people who aren’t thinking of drawing attention with their dressing but merely dressing in a way that feels comfortable and makes them feel confident?
    Secondly, (I realize this blog is designed for a female audience), but it seems like your definition of modesty is only being applied to girls. Shouldn’t that be true for both genders?
    I have a workout page on Instagram and I post shirtless pictures fairly often on it. I choose to document my fitness journey in that way and my goal with the page is to inspire other people to begin working out. I “show skin” to thousands of people on Instagram. At the same time, I have a wide audience of both gay guys and straight girls that are constantly messaging me in a manner that clearly states their attraction to my body (with varying levels of decency ranging from friendly to downright disturbing and creepy). According to what you’re saying, there’s nothing free about doing what I’m doing and that it’s “literally bondage.” I disagree. I have insecurities just like everyone else, so it’s not necessarily easy for me to post a picture of myself. But as I’ve become more adjusted to it and comfortable with my body, there is a level of confidence to it. And it certainly isn’t bondage. I’ve inspired lots of people to start working out and I see what I do as helpful and harmless. I also have no problem with girls who have similar workout pages and post pictures of themselves in varying levels of undress.
    In all respect, it seems like you’re taking what you’ve found to be true for yourself and applying that to everyone else. I’ve seen for myself the ugly side of craving attention by exposing yourself and I applaud your overall message, but at the same time I think there’s an argument to be made that it’s possible to show some skin and not have that be a bad thing. I’m not totally disagreeing with what you’re saying, I’m just encouraging you to see other points of view that could possibly be true for other people.
    Lastly, I feel like I would be amiss to not touch on the “dressing for guys” thing. Without trying to come across as condescending, I wouldn’t take modesty advice from the guys I knew on Revive. I just wouldn’t. Some of the things I’ve seen in the guy’s section are more than cringeworthy, they’re downright dangerous. A lot of those guys have grown up in the body shaming, conservative culture that promotes a legalistic version of modesty. I’ve even heard language indicating that some of them think lust on their part is the girl’s fault. I think that every bit of the blame for lusting needs to be pointed at the person doing the lusting and not at the object or person they’re attracted to. I’m saying this as a guy, who apparently is supposed to be “more visual oriented” and who knows the struggle. Far too much blame has been put on the way someone dresses, when that blame should be put on the person doing the lusting.
    Thanks for responding and for doing so in a humble and encouraging way. You’re a worthy debate partner ;). I would be the first to admit that my thinking is not always biblical. I find it funny that I’m a lot more feministic that most of the girls I know. Judge me all you like.
    In Christ,
    Kyle

    Like

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