“Life lessons with Anna” could easily be the title of this post.
I have been a little absent from writing for Eromai.
And the biggest reason for that is because I have been a little absent from God.
As difficult as that is to admit, I feel that it’s important to talk about it.
I’m the good Christian girl that co-runs a blog for Christian girls.
I must be really dedicated to God and I must be pursuing Him every second of every day. Certainly I am giving Him my all, all the time. Right?
The reality is that I have been to scared to trust God.
I desperately am trying to figure everything out on my own, I pray, sure…but do I trust?
I am caught between logic and faith. I wish I could say that faith is my logical choice, but it’s difficult to rationalize what is unknown.
I always write my blog posts based off of what I am thinking about or going through, so as I took a little break from seeking God, I had nothing to share with you all.
It’s reality. We are human, we are flawed. It is only Christ that sustains us through what we’re facing.
No, I am not that good Christian girl that pursues God 24/7.
There are moments I think I am strong enough to do it myself.
I think I can figure it all out, and do what I want, and it’ll happen when I want it to happen.
But that’s not reality. God is in control. And you can never hide from God.
I want to clarify, that I always love Jesus. Just sometimes it’s difficult to pursue Him. I might not talk about Jesus all the time, but I always think of Him. Even in the moments of “ignoring” Him, I always feel my heart gravitated to Him.
And that’s what I hold onto through uncertainty, and through trials.
Don’t ever look at my life and think I’m perfect. Never view my words as though I am the wisest. I am flawed, I will admit it. I’d admit a million times over if it meant bringing more glory to God. The only thing I’ve got right in life is asking Jesus to be my savior.
This blog post wasn’t supposed to be about me, so with all that being said: You can never wonder too far from God, He will always be guiding you in some way. Don’t ignore the still small voice, God is in everything. He is in all reasons and all seasons.
Don’t beat yourself up for going through the seasons where you thought you could make it on your own. I can’t justify it, but I can say that we all do it. I think at the end of the season, a lesson of humility has been learned.
We can’t make it without God, not when it’s God that has made it.