In 2016, I was nothing short of a hot mess.
I became very sick, and actually kinda depressed.
I seemed to lose control of everything. Everything that I was passionate about, I threw out the window. (That’s one of the reasons why we had relaunch this blog. I couldn’t keep up with it when we first launched.)
And, while I wouldn’t have admitted it then, I was actually kinda bitter at God.
My desire has always been to know what’s going on. For as long as I can remember, I’ve naturally felt entitled to know what’s going to happen in the future. So the fact that I didn’t know what was happening to me made me, well… MAD.
Things started going wrong for me and, deep in my heart, I felt like God was failing.
Every time I saw scripture talking about how God is good, I got kinda frustrated.
For example, Isaiah 41:10 says, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand.”
“Well, God, I don’t feel you here. I don’t think you’re strengthening me. I mean, I’m lying here on a hospital bed. Where are you?”
Oh, my blind heart thought that God had failed.
See, here’s where I really failed: I thought I lost control of my life. But honestly, I wasn’t in control of my life in the first place.
God is in control.
I think we tend to forget that God is the one holding everything together in the first place. Even when things seem to be falling apart, the world is still held together by the One who created it. That won’t change.
So when we’re lying on the hospital bed, or crying on the floor, or picking up the pieces of your broken heart in the backseat of a truck, God’s there. He’d holding you, loving on you, offering you His truth.
Nothing you EVER do will change the fact that God is there.
He is not failing, my dear. And if you think He is, then I’m sorry, but you’re wrong.
Instead of failing, He’s building something better. He’s shaping. He’s saying, “Oh, just wait to see what I have in store! There is good that will come from this!”
It might take awhile until you come face-to-face with the good. In fact, you might have to wait until you’re celebrating in heaven to see it. But oh my goodness, I promise you, it’s there.
Romans 8:28 says, “and we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
The promise has come from God himself. There’s good. He’s not failing.
I can’t say that I’ve really seen the good that has come from me being chronically sick, but I know I’ll see it someday.
And I have faith that, no matter what your circumstance is, you’ll eventually see that God wasn’t failing, but instead piecing together something good.
You are so loved.