I used to find my beauty and identity in my hair.
There. I said it.
I’ve always struggled with confidence issues. I’d like to say that I’ve overcome that, but I haven’t completely.
People’s words hurt me so badly when I was younger that I’m still trying to recover. (But that’s another story for another post.)
No matter what people said about my look, they never mentioned anything negative about my hair. Now, I’d still struggle with disliking it from time-to-time, but I was good for the most part.
I continued this for around three years. My confidence, my beauty, all resided in my hair.
I didn’t recognize this until last December.
My mom told me that our friend from church was coming over to cut our hair. Whilst pondering what haircut to get, I reluctantly noticed something: a lot of my hair was dried and split. If I wanted healthy hair again, I would need to chop a lot of it off.
I know this probably sounds silly, but my identity was *really* wrapped up in my hair, folks.
I didn’t wanna cut my hair to my shoulders. I thought I looked ugly with short hair.
I was upset that my new ‘do was inevitable.
So, the night before I got my hair cut, I repeated the verse that I learned in biology class:
“I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
After being repeated many many (many) times, it sorta just clicked.
I really am fearfully and wonderfully made.
The God that created everything- from galaxies to caterpillars to E minor- made me. He made all these amazing things, but He calls me beautiful.
To put my value and identity in something like hair is so silly. Because, my goodness, there is so much more to me than my hair. I am so complex, unique, unparalleled. I could shave my head entirely and I’d still be just as beautiful.
So yes, I cut several inches of my hair off. I didn’t do it just to make my hair healthy again, but to say “Lord, my beauty doesn’t get to be determined by how long my hair is. I no longer put my confidence in this. I put my confidence in You, Jesus.”
Maybe you don’t put your confidence and identity in what I did. Maybe you put it in your talents, career, boyfriend, social skills, likes on Instagram, body shape, eyes, or your sense of humor.
Whatever it is, I assure you it’s very temporary, unfulfilling, and never good enough.
Sweet girl, you were made by the King. You are so loved and treasured by Him. Don’t let something stand in the way of you seeing that. Whatever is trying to fill the God-sized hole in your heart is going to fail.
So cling to Jesus. Please. Toss aside whatever you’re attempting to find you identity in, and embrace Jesus instead. I mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say that it is worth it.
I love you all.